Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
