I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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