I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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