is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
