This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
