But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
