I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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