the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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