Its about making memories worth repressing
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Less talking, more tequila
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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