Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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