I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
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I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
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I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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