I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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