We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
