I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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