I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize