We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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