His hands were made for my vagina.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
