nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
