apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
where does the pee come out of this thing
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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