But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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