It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
