**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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