So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
