How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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