I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she smelled like a LAN party
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
whose ass print is on the piano?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
