im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
