that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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