The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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