Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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