**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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