I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This gyro tastes like lonliness
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Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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