So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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