hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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