also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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