In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
