I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
