Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
