Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
