before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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