hell yes lets make some ravioli
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
