So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
