have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
