its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
