Fuck appropriateness.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
