so that wasnt chicken after all
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
