I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
