Do you still have your period?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
