yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
