I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
