That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
false alarm. still invincible.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Randomize
