STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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