I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
