your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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