I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize