Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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