I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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