Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
