i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
