i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
