I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
