If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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