brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Text me some of your sweat
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
