Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
