Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
