He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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