am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
