Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
