Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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