you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
