I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize